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Annoyed with myself

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This thread is now closed. Please contact Anna DUK, Ieva DUK or everydayupsanddowns if you would like it re-opened.
AJLang

AJLang

Well-Known Member
Relationship to Diabetes
Type 1
I'm having to write something for work that I am finding really, really difficult and it needs to be written by the end of Monday. Officially I finished work for the week yessterday lunchtime and I'm not back until Tuesday. The stress of writing the material has led to me not leaving the house since Wednesday for any exercise, eating junk food and drinking too much (to help beat my writer's block - but I didn't open the wine unti 4.30pm!!) and my BGs are around 15 (but just had four units of humalog and had a hypo this morning) - not asking for sympathy just having a mini rant because I'm annoyed with myself and I always act like this when I'm stressed..............but the writing is really important - if, and it is an amazingly big if, I get to the standard of impressing people in the very top universities it could mean that I become a professor in a few years.......aggh stress versus career combined with my various health problems.....rant over🙂
 
I hope that letting steam off here helps, Amanda, I have every confidence you will produce something of top quality 🙂
 
Thanks Alan you have more confidence in me than I do..........at the moment thinking of persuading OH that he wants a full-time housewife.....guess I can daydream (but then again I'm not very good at housework!)
 
Just go easy on yourself Amanda. I'm not sure any job is worth a burn out to that degree (no pun intended 🙄).

And easy to say, but don't lean on the wine too much. That way madness lies 🙂

If you want to crowd-source the piece, we could all write a bit and you can stitch it together at the end. :D

Rob
 
Thank yo Rob. Getting everyone to group write the piece sounds an excellent idea, thank you! I have tried to be sensible and postponed some of my other work for a week. I've also asked the OU for a two week extension to give myself some breathing space. I'm hoping that this particular stress curve will only be for a few days...........and it has reminded me why I reduced my hours to a 50% contract (although I'm definitely not working 50% hours at the moment😱). When I had an extremely serious car accident in my early 20s I promised myself that I would never throw myself completely and utterly into work again.......but I did.....I promised myself that I wouldn't do it after the eye problems and gastroparesis.......and yet I'm doing it again. I have been called a workaholic by one of my bosses on more than one occasion even since I started working part-time. One day I will learn..........and don't worry I won't get too reliant on the wine.......I did consider buying a packet of cigarettes but a) OH would leave me b)I don't smoke and know that i mustn't

This board is so great for support
 
OK, forget about housework, keep writing, don't worry too much about what you're eating for a few days until deadline, but do go for a walk - I find that helps me when I have to write reports / papers etc, as thought / clarifications often come into my mind when walking, sometimes prompted by sight of a tree / bird etc.

Then, once you've submitted the work, enjoy the relief and walk again and enjoy healthier food. 🙂
 
Thanks Copepod you;'ve made me feel less guilty. I have managed to write 2500 words today but they need a massive amount of revising and editing. I will be walking Susie with OH tomorrow and Sunday - I'm looking forward to going outside (PS Susie hasn't been neglected OH has been walking her instead of me)
 
Hi Amanda,

You are not on your own here when stress hits me I hit food also. I think the best idea is for you to get out, get some fresh air and do something completely different even if only for an hour. It is so easy for us to beat ourselves up but we have a choice of doing that or changing the direction by being kinder to ourselves as I am sure you are worth it!

Enjoy your weekend, step back and things hopefully will be clearer when you return to it. Keep us posted

sending a soothing hug your way
 
Cuiseinequeen thank you very much. I need to work on it all over the weekend but I'm going to be good and finish at around 6pm in the evenings so that I can focus on my doggy and OH (in that order:D). Thanks for making me realise that I'm not the only one who turns to food when stressed.....and as soon as OH gets home from work I will tell him that he must make me go out with him and Susie tomorrow irrespective of all of the excuses that i will make with regard to meeding to focus on the writing.
 
I think a walk may help - or something else that will help you relax - maybe hit a few cushions. Writers block is not likely to go away the harder you try - you'll just get yourself frustrated - somehow you need to take a step back. Sometimes a shock can help get you out of it a bit like a cure for hiccoughs

Be kind on yourself - its sounds like you are expecting way more from yourself than anyone else is.

Hope you manage to relax and the block dissolves.
 
AJLang said:
Cuiseinequeen thank you very much. I need to work on it all over the weekend but I'm going to be good and finish at around 6pm in the evenings so that I can focus on my doggy and OH (in that order:D). Thanks for making me realise that I'm not the only one who turns to food when stressed.....and as soon as OH gets home from work I will tell him that he must make me go out with him and Susie tomorrow irrespective of all of the excuses that i will make with regard to meeding to focus on the writing.
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Good for you Amanda and remember YOU MATTER!
 
Thank you everyone for your kind words yesterday. Gave myself a wake up call when it eventually took me 12 lots of humalog to get my BGs down from 19 to 7 (7 units at 2am when it was19 and and another 5 units this morning because it had gone back up to 19 - BG had been 12 when I went to bed and I'd had three units then as well). Have been more chilled today - had a long sleep (12 hours), have walked Susie and OH made me scrambled eggs for brunch. Have done the food shopping and now have a range of very easy to prepare meals for the next week so that I can eat healthily without needing to spend time preparing the meals. Didn't start writing again until 3pm today but feel more focused so hoping for a productive two or three hours and will then focus on writing more tomorrow.

thank you everyone
 
AJLang said:
Thank you everyone for your kind words yesterday. Gave myself a wake up call when it eventually took me 12 lots of humalog to get my BGs down from 19 to 7 (7 units at 2am when it was19 and and another 5 units this morning because it had gone back up to 19 - BG had been 12 when I went to bed and I'd had three units then as well). Have been more chilled today - had a long sleep (12 hours), have walked Susie and OH made me scrambled eggs for brunch. Have done the food shopping and now have a range of very easy to prepare meals for the next week so that I can eat healthily without needing to spend time preparing the meals. Didn't start writing again until 3pm today but feel more focused so hoping for a productive two or three hours and will then focus on writing more tomorrow.

thank you everyone
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Sounds like a very good plan. Just hope you don't have a day like I did today - reading papers at home for a hearing on Monday, only to be interupted by one door bell from a man wanting to "share something from the Bible", so I explained I was working, getting to front door is a problem, so it wasn't a good time; then another from a man asking if we had any scrap metal, so again I said I was working and getting to front door was difficult, but didn't mention that I took scrap aluminium cans to a dealer where I get paid up to 70p a kg - easy enough to get 3 or 4 kg on bike for the 3km roynd trip.
 
Aww amanda - don't be annoyed with yourself - I've been awful today and with no good reason other than feeling sorry for myself. Lindt choccies to the rescue - my sugar has been very low the last 2 days but it's still naughty. We'll both make a pact to be good tomorrow!!
 
Copepod said:
Sounds like a very good plan. Just hope you don't have a day like I did today - reading papers at home for a hearing on Monday, only to be interupted by one door bell from a man wanting to "share something from the Bible", so I explained I was working, getting to front door is a problem, so it wasn't a good time; then another from a man asking if we had any scrap metal, so again I said I was working and getting to front door was difficult, but didn't mention that I took scrap aluminium cans to a dealer where I get paid up to 70p a kg - easy enough to get 3 or 4 kg on bike for the 3km roynd trip.
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Luckily I haven't been disturbed today. I used to get disturbed lots by door to door callers when working at home. We recently put a sign up telling people not to knock unless they were expected and the disturbances have definitely been less since the sign went up. Thank goodness
 
Flutterby said:
Aww amanda - don't be annoyed with yourself - I've been awful today and with no good reason other than feeling sorry for myself. Lindt choccies to the rescue - my sugar has been very low the last 2 days but it's still naughty. We'll both make a pact to be good tomorrow!!
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Karen you deserve the Lindt chocolate after your sugar being very low. It's good to be naughty sometimes:D However I agree that we should enter a pact to be good tomorrow
 
Well done Karen!!! I've been really good as well - all I've had is a fruit smoothie, home made ciabatta roll (with cheese) and a packet of crisps. Not the healthiest of diets but far better than Friday! I've walked Susie and my BGs have hovered between 5-11. Best of all I've just finished writing the draft of my document and have emailed it to my professor!!! I can't believe that I've actually managed to write it to a standard that I'm pleased with:D Now going to relax before starting work again tomorrow morning.........I'm not moaning though because although the writing was extremely tough I managed it which I can't believe🙂
 
AJLang said:
Well done Karen!!! I've been really good as well - all I've had is a fruit smoothie, home made ciabatta roll (with cheese) and a packet of crisps. Not the healthiest of diets but far better than Friday! I've walked Susie and my BGs have hovered between 5-11. Best of all I've just finished writing the draft of my document and have emailed it to my professor!!! I can't believe that I've actually managed to write it to a standard that I'm pleased with:D Now going to relax before starting work again tomorrow morning.........I'm not moaning though because although the writing was extremely tough I managed it which I can't believe🙂
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That's brilliant Amanda! Well done! 🙂
 
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