An ITV Christmas

[eggyg]

I wrote this a few years ago, some presenters/ experts are no longer on the programme I believe, but everything else is just as relevant today. Perhaps even more so in this cost of living crisis, and conflict in the Middle East and Ukraine.


An ITV Christmas.

'twas 10 days before Christmas
And the TV was on.
Holly & Phil & the bespectacled Gok Wan.
Dr Chris talks germs and poisonous plants.
Gok Wan helps us, like Joey
Choose our Christmas pants.
A celebrity chef cooks a seabass
Oh dear me,
To serve up for Christmas!
What's wrong with turkey?
Ten different ways
To cook a sprout,
When we all know they'll be soggy
And noxious gasses will out!
Gok shows us a coat for our Boxing Day hike.
When in reality, we'll be in PJs
And such like!
The doctor again warns us
"Beware of the bugs"
When touching your Norfolk Bronze
And before giving hugs!
Poinsettia's are lethal,
That I never knew,
I'm going down for a refund
From B & Q!
I'm exhausted just watching
And a little bit wary,
What's all this to do with Joseph and Mary?
I've only got one outfit
For the big day itself.
Gok won't be happy
But Christmas is bad for your WEALTH!
I'm cooking a turkey the traditional way,
And I'm boiling my Brussels
Starting TODAY!
My poinsettia's died anyways
So no harm will come,
And a Boxing Day jaunt's out
'Cos I'll be sat on my bum!
So the moral of this ditty
Is do just like me,
Celebrate Christmas YOUR way
Not ITV’s!

Merry Christmas everyone and remember Christmas is about family and friends, not how many outfits you have and salt crusted sea bass!

 

[snowball12]

Love this and totally agree with you. Merry Christmas/Nadolig Llawen to you and yours

 

[trophywench]

And the same from me, though I'm more familiar with Merry Christmas or Feliz Navidad than I ever will be with anything hailing from across the far side of Shropshire. Despite some paternal far ancestors reputedly well known in Pendine at one time, according to my Godmother. (Dad's cousin)

 

[Chris Hobson]

Nowadays I mainly watch YouTube. It's sort of like citizen's telly. There is some fascinating stuff on there on every subject under the sun. If you enjoy the repair shop you will find loads of stuff about doing restorations on everything from pianos to classic cars and motorbikes. There are people who are just passionate about some subject and just want to share their enthusiasm. Example, Bernadette Banner, she is fascinated by period costumes in films and TV dramas. She loves to give credit to those that get it right and to really rip into those that get it very wrong.