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Advice needed please

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Bushbaby57

Bushbaby57

New Member
Relationship to Diabetes
At risk of diabetes
I have a friend who was diagnosed with T2 in March 2019 with a very high Hba1c. She is currently on Metformin. The problem is that she is in 'denial'...thinks the diabetes will go away. The added problem is that she comfort eats, and is continuing to eat sweets etc and drink coke like she did before. She is also very overweight, and does not exercise. So basically has made no changes to her diet etc. Is there any advice, as her friend, that I can give encourage her to change. What are the consequences if she does not accept her condition.

Any advice would be much appreciated.

Thank you.
 
I lived with my grandmother who had uncontrolled type two - diabetes mellitus as it was called back then.
The process of deterioration is not something I can write about, except to say it was dreadful.
Making changes to the amount of carbohydrate is really the key thing, that really can make diabetes go away, it can also result in weightloss, extra energy, aches and pains reduce - so many benefits, the main ones being able to walk around on your own feet, and see where you are going.
To me it seems like a no brainer situation, eating a low carb diet means delicious meals and feeling so much younger, living longer and thinking more clearly too....
 
I would second that diet change does not have to be all bad and I too have found many health benefits to kicking my carb habit.... I also used to comfort eat and to a lesser extent I still do but I have a chunk of cheese instead of a bar of chocolate now or a square of 70% dark chocolate. I would not have believed that I could beat my sugar addiction but I have and in a relatively short space of time. I also have significantly reduced aches and pains and no longer suffer migraines as a direct result of eating low carb. I can now enjoy a glass of red wine which was one of my main triggers. So there are many benefits to eating low carb and it can be very enjoyable but the fear of going blind or losing a foot was a big incentive for me.

I think it is wonderful that you are such a good friend as to research via this forum to see how you can help her. I would encourage her to join us in person so that she can read motivational stories and learn how to manage her condition with people who understand how frustrating it can be and will sympathise but also encourage her.
 
Many thanks to the both of you for your replies.

Rebrascora...I have already suggested that. Alas, to know avail. Her own admission of being in denial is not helping. I myself, find this forum immensely helpful since my prediabetes diagnosis last December.

I will keep trying encourage my friend to takes things more seriously, and perhaps seek help for her comfort eating.
 
I was diagnosed 2016, but still in denial. :( I can relate.
 
Maybe she doesn't need you to persuade her. Maybe she already knows what she needs to do and how much it will help her. Maybe she has been told that so many times, she isn't interested in hearing another person say it. Try a nice card and a mug, perhaps with some special tea in or whatever she likes that isn't pure carbs, and a little note that says: I know you're having a sh*t time (reword as appropraite) but i just want you to know I'm here for you. I hear you that you don't want me to talk to you about your diabetes / diet any more, but I'm here and ready to listen and help you to change your future if and when you're ready. Meanwhile I wanted to you to know that you're super, that I've always admired you for X, Y and Z and that life's nicer when you're around. I promise not to mention diabetes again unless you ask me to. Fancy a movie Tuesday night?


Cos whatever else your friend needs to do, she needs love most of all.
 
Unfortunately if a person is really in denial then all you can do is try to be there for them when/if they decide to take back control of their life.
I have heard about Type 2 diabetics who have left it very late, even to the point of having the first amputation ( big toe in his case), yet have managed to get off all medication and down onto the normal range for HbA1C.
Personally I would hate to be blind and unable to walk, but some people prefer their favourite foods to avoiding that, just as a hard drug addict will sacrifice everything for the next fix.

Don't push them too hard - to the extent of destroying the relationship. They may need you later.
 
Bushbaby57 said:
I have a friend who was diagnosed with T2 in March 2019 with a very high Hba1c. She is currently on Metformin. The problem is that she is in 'denial'...thinks the diabetes will go away. The added problem is that she comfort eats, and is continuing to eat sweets etc and drink coke like she did before. She is also very overweight, and does not exercise. So basically has made no changes to her diet etc. Is there any advice, as her friend, that I can give encourage her to change. What are the consequences if she does not accept her condition.

Any advice would be much appreciated.

Thank you.
Click to expand...

Take her to visit a hospital diabetic ward when they're busy with more extreme cases. That might shock her into taking it seriously. Not a fun experience at all (I got taken in with keto-acidosis and ended up a few days on a ward and I never EVER want to be going back there). Seeing people with more extreme symptoms is both eye opening and sobering. I felt terribly sorry for a young kid who had T1 and was obviously in a sorry state, but there were a few people on the ward that clearly hadn't heeded the warning signs, it was shocking to see what a sorry state they were in, even if they didn't want anyone to notice. Stuff like people hobbling around with hardly any feet left, or with legs that caused them so much pain they couldn't lie down in a bed. If she doesn't wake up after seeing that, well I can't imagine anything you do would help. Seeing it in person has much more of an impact. Maybe see if you can get an appointment at a hospital on a diabetic ward with a diabetic nurse?
 
Bushbaby57 said:
I have a friend who was diagnosed with T2 in March 2019 with a very high Hba1c. She is currently on Metformin. The problem is that she is in 'denial'...thinks the diabetes will go away. The added problem is that she comfort eats, and is continuing to eat sweets etc and drink coke like she did before. She is also very overweight, and does not exercise. So basically has made no changes to her diet etc. Is there any advice, as her friend, that I can give encourage her to change. What are the consequences if she does not accept her condition.

Any advice would be much appreciated.

Thank you.
Click to expand...

There is not a lot you can do if your friend is unwilling Bushbaby, I guess you could suggest she asks for a referral from her GP to attend a Desmond course which will help her understand what happens to the body and how certain foods impact, alternatively she may want to self refer to the Xpert course which is even more comprehensive about managing Diabetes. https://www.xperthealth.org.uk/
 
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