Advice needed for parent with Type 2

[lizsom]

Hi everyone
I am wondering if someone could give me some advice.
My 88 year old stepfather has Type 2 diabetes - diagnosed about 10 years ago. He had been on injections for about 3-4 years.
His blood is regularly 20-30. He does not stick to healthy eating and eats
sugary puddings with custard or cream - his attitude is that at his age he can eat what he likes and it's OK because he can just take more insulin.
He has lost a great deal of weight in the last few years and I would think he weighs about 8 stones. His appetite is very good - he eats at least 6 slices of bread a day in addition to meals. He attends a diabetes clinic at his health centre but will not tell them about any problems. Recently his legs have become weak and he falls a lot. I am concerned that he is causing damage to his body. My mother is at her wit's end and very concerned about him. He has become very moody and bad tempered.
He is a stubborn man who will not listen to advice. He has an appointment next week and is trying to eat less "to try and get my blood down for the appointment" I suggested my Mum writes a letter to his nurse but she is afraid he will find out. Would one of us be able to contact health professionals in confidence without him being informed?

 

[novorapidboi26]

I would personally think you could contact members of his team confidentially, at least just to express your concerns, they may be able to intervene without him twigging..........

I assume he doesnt really take much notice even if they come back with high HbA1c results........

 

[Caroline]

That is a tricky one. When my mum used to lecture my nan about smoking my nan used to say well at least I will die happy.

I used to do the shopping for my neighbour. Her son used to moan like mad that she'd eat cream cakes for breakfast, she did it to wind him up and then ask me to get in her fruit and vege.

Contact his health care team in confidence and have a word with them, they may be able to help him without his even realise he is being helped.

 

[Northerner]

Hi Lizsom, welcome to the forum 🙂 Sorry to hear of your stepfather's stubborness. It is likely that his poor moods are a result of his hogh or swinging blood sugar levels, so getting them under better control would probably make him feel better - that's one of the rotten things about diabetes, if you overindulge in the name of pleasure then it will often hit back by making you feel worse.

Whilst it is true to some extent that extra food can just be 'covered' by injecting more insulin, the more you inject can make it less easy to predict what your blood sugar levels might do. Does he inject with every meal? I know some Type 2s only inject once a day with a 'basal' or background insulin, and this is less easy to adjust and probably wouldn't cope with the kinds of food he is eating.

Would he agree to you going to his clinic with him? Whilst he may not want you to know what he is being told, it's possible he might if he feels he doesn't need to hide anything.

 

[Dizzydi]

Hi Liz,

My granny is in the sam boat as your step fathers, she is 83. Eats what she likes and is often 'hi' on her monitor which is way way to high.

I often ring her gp or just tip up at her hospital appointments - if someone can go with him or even call them for advice - even if it is just a little advise to help.

It is really hard tho I think for the elderly - my gran keeps saying 'I'm sick of this I hate it and will do as I like - what life have i got now - I'll do and eat what I want'

 

[Copepod]

Hi Liz
It's a tough situation, but if I put myself in the position of an 88 year old who's had type 2 diabetes for 10 years and injections for 3-4 years, I'd probably react exactly the same. (My situation as a 44 year old, with type 1 diabetes for 14 years is very different - I want to live for many more long & healthy years)
However, I would also consider whether any other factors are at play in in his health eg contributing to his weight loss and moods, both of which can be explained by hyperglycaemia, but also by other condition.

 

[lizsom]

Thank you all for your replies and support.
I think he checks his blood after every meal and injects accordingly.
I think as you say Copepod that there may be something else going on but he will not go to the GP. He says he can't go into hospital as he can't leave my mum! I think he's afraid but he doesn't seem to consider what would happen to her if something serious was wrong with him.
I don't live very near so I think he may be suspicious if I suggested going with him and he won't let my Mum go.
Such a frustrating situation - how can you help someone who is so determined!

 

[thedame]

Hi Liz

I expect there are many elderly people (and lots of younger ones) with this attitude. When you are young it is a form of denial but with an older person, I don't think they can fully understand the implications and depending on the advice they get from their team, understand what they can do to help themselves.

Woud it be possible for your Mum to get some help with rethinking the weekly shop or does Dad interfere? By getting in some wholegrain bread if they usually take white, get that sugar free instant custard and encourage him to put it on some fresh fruit instead of sugary puds, you and your Mum might be able to make some small gradual changes to show your Dad that he can still have some of his treats but in a more sensible way.

I saw a dietician when I was first diagnosed and got nothing more useful than "eat smaller portions". You don't say! So half a bar of choccie and only one doughnut a day then? Joking of course about the choccie and doughnut! Maybe you and your Mum could complile a list of her usual shop and take it along to see the specialist nurse who looks after you Dad and get some pointers? It is not just the sugar he needs to watch but get a better balance overall I would think and we have all needed some help with that.

How good of you to come in here on your parents behalf-please do ask if you want any ideas for better choices for your Dad- we all have our favourites🙂