I'd like to share my story
I found out I was pregnant on the 1st June 2007, I was 7 to 8 weeks pregnant at this time. Hadn't been trying but I've always wanted children. Then a week later I lost it. No words can really describe how I felt or how it feels. If it has happened to you, you will know.
Then first week in August 2007, I found out I was pregnant again. This was short lived as I miscarried again. Dr's said I had tried to soon.
Since then, I was diagnosed Type 2 Diabetic in April 2008, a nusre at the time told me I had probably miscarried because I was diabetic and didn't know about it - the jury is out on that one.
I saw a specialist a couple of weeks after I was diagnosed, we went through all the should's and shouldn't etc and one of the big major no no's was that he forbade me to carry on trying to get pregnant until I was stable and had everything under control.
He then refered me to his own pre conception clinic, got the goood old HbA1c down to 5.4 (eventually). I was given the go ahead to start trying again by him in the Sept / Oct. I had not really stopped trying was not using any contraceptive.
I am still under the consultant and see him every 6 to 8 weeks. He has run all the usual test, In Janu ary this year he basically told me the chances of conceiving naturally where neo on impossible. At this point it was like someone had died again and I think I greaved for a while.
He then refered me to a gyn who I saw for about six months and I had more fertility drugs, who then refered me for IVF.
I had my first cycle of IVF end of July begining of August which was unsuccessful and once again, I felt like someone else had died.
I am now in a state of lymbo. Do I try one more course of IVF and risk it not working and ending up even more of a reck or do I need to come to accept that it is never going to happen and get on with my life.
I'm currently at 75% no & 25% yes. But I think deep down I cannot cope with anymore failure and need to accept I can be happy and complete with just me and my wonderful husband.
If I do not have another course of IVf, I am going to start the adoption process. It is something I feel very strong about and think that maybe this is my destiney.
I would like to say to people though, that if children is what you really want, then fight all the way for it. Keep going until you get your dreams. However if it is not meant to be you need to come to terms with it. I know easy said than done. I've still not fully come to terms with it. But I know I will.
Di x