a place for girlfriends?

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Sakura-rose

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Hi all

As a girlfriend of a type 1 diabetic I feel totally isolated by the whole system, by him and his family. Even this forums registration form didn't have a field for me.

I am not his carer nor his mother. He is a grown up and should take care of himself. But where does my role fit in, what should I be doing? Doesn't a partner suffer as much as a parent when the one the love is suffering? I choose to be with him even though I will probably outlive him, he may need me as a carer at some point if things go south and also if we have kids they risk having type 1 diabetes and all that it brings.

I am hoping I can find the support and answers I need here to help me in real life.

Thanks for listening

x
 
hi and welcome to the fourum

i understand that this can be a bit overwelming but please remember that everyone is different and that there is loads of us thats lives into old age its not all gloom and doom, yes there are highs and low times and some of us get angry with the big d. but dont worry about us we are a friendly bunch of people i know ive met a few of them.

no question is daft or silly if you need to ask please do not worry yourself, go ahead and ask🙂

oh again welcome to the fourum
topcat
 
Welcome to the forum.

I am sure there are many things we can help you with. I'd also suggest that you really need to talk with your boyfriend and say how you feel about things. But I guess the trick there is not to appear pushy or controlling but just listen and support (it depends on his attitude too, I suppose).

I've type 2 diabetes and my partner is very supportive. Sometimes she goes a little overboard though and forgets that I've been looking after myself for quite a while now! 🙂

Anyway, start asking questions and we'll do our best to help.

Andy
 
Hi Sakura-rose. Welcome 🙂

How long has your boyfriend been diagnosed and are you both relatively young (under 30 ish)?

Assuming he's taking his diabetes seriously and trying to keep it under control, he should live more or less as long as he would without diabetes. There's greater health risks out there that he may be saved from through a better self-awareness.

As has been said, you need to get these feelings across somehow. Have you thought about writing him a letter explaining how you feel and how, because you love him, you want to be a part of his support team. The term carer is a fairly loose one and is meant to include spouse, partners or anyone who 'cares' about the diabetic in question. My partner has helped me beyond description, so you definitely have a role to play. No man is an island and all that.

If you want to learn more about diabetes, please consider yourself as much a part of the forum as any of us. The more you know, the more you can help him.🙂

Rob
 
ps. Frustration and anger are normal emotions to feel and tend to go with the territory. 😉

Rob
 
Hi Sakura-rose, welcome to the forum
 
Hi Sakura Rose and a warm welcome to the forum
 
Hi Sakura-rose,

I'm a type 1 diabetic and was diagnosed in February. How long has your boyfriend been t1?

I've been with my boyfriend for 5 years, 6months of which i have been diabetic, so he has known me for a while before the madness started.

Being diagnosed is scary. You have all this information bombarded at you and before you know it your turfed out of hospital with medicine and a box of needles. Alongside this you have the big scary future to think about, some of which you already mentioned.

The most important thing for me and other t1s ive spoken to is knowing that you have someone to talk to, who will ask you how your feeling and just generally want to listen to your worries and fears, many of which I have aired to my boyfriend and he has shared in return. The best thing he ever said was that "I still see you as Carly, not Carly the diabetic" and that's what i have reminded myself of everyday. The diabeties is such a tiny part of who I am and who your boyfriend is. Yes it's annoying and frustrating and the varying blod sugars affect your mood. Think of it as Male PMT.

I really hope this gives you some piece of mind and that you no longer feel isolated by this.

Please shout out again if you feel worried or just want to chat.

C 🙂
 
Hello Sakura-rose, well done on the support you seem to have for your boyfriend. I'm sure this shows and he will appreciate it greatly, but sometimes we may not show how we feel perhaps.

I think joining here is excellent, you can learn a little at a time and ask away to find out what there is to know. This can only help you and him. good luck.
 
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