a little worried

[mel22768hus]

I have a friend who has had type 2 diabetes for 6 years. She now takes 1000mg metformin, sitagliptin and both long lasting and fast acting insulin until 2 months ago she was contolling her diabetes very well then her husband had a heart attack, her mom was rushed into hospital for an operation on her stomach then her step dad was diagnosed with stomach cancer. Since then she hasn't been taking her medication correctly then I found out last night she hasn't taken any at all for 2 weeks and her blood levels have not been below 18 and as high as 25.6. I've told her this is dangerous but she said she doesnt care what can i do

 

[Northerner]

Hi Mel, welcome to the forum 🙂 Very sorry to hear about your friend It sounds like she has been through a very stressful and upsetting time and often this can mean that we feel less inclined to take care of ourselves. I would try and support her as best you can - she needs to be motivated to look after herself better in order to be strong for those who love and need her. If she hasn't been taking her medication and levels are high as you say, then this will be making it doubly hard to summon up the strength to make sure she looks after herself properly. If you can, I would try and persuade her to see her doctor who may be able to offer some counselling to help her through this time. Two weeks of elevated levels should not havea lasting effect on her health, but it is important that she takes that small amount of time each day to care for her needs - she will feel stronger and more able to tackle her other difficulties then.

 

[slipper]

Hi Mel, welcome to the forum. Perhaps your friend will appreciate the fact that she needs to look after herself in order to be there for those she cares for, at this, what must be be a really hard time for her.

Well done to you for looking out for her.

 

[DeusXM]

At the risk of sounding blunt - even with her husband having a heart attack, her mother needing an operation, and her stepfather being diagnosed with cancer....all of those people have a better prognosis than someone not controlling their diabetes.

If your friend doesn't want to exponentially multiply the misfortune facing her family, she'll need to start controlling her diabetes again.

 

[Northerner]

At the risk of sounding blunt...

..
I think, personally, that sort of advice is akin to telling a depressed person to 'snap out of it', to be honest.

 

[AJLang]

To be honest, from my experience, when other things are going terribly wrong in your life diabetes goes on the backburner. I've found that having the love and support of those close to me has helped me to deal with the bad times so that eventually the diabetes control regains its importance. Your friend will appreciate you being there for her and with some gentle encouragement should soon start to think about her own health again. All my best wishes to you both during this difficult time.

 

[Steff]

Hi Mel,
A warm welcome to the forum from me its great that your so concerned for your mate that you have joined here, it sounds like your mate is very much in a similier position that im in ive not had all those very sad events happen but curently im going through a screw diabetes phase so can kind of relate.I wonder if maybe you can relay some of what we have said to her in your own way so it looks less like its from a forum and see how that goes down.Please let us know how it goes.

 

[trophywench]

Do you know, when I was under tremendous stress that was utterly relentless and nothing I seemed to do or could do would relieve it, and my blood sugar was going utterly berserk - I was at rock bottom, nothing left to give and felt utterly helpless - off work with basically a nervous breakdown and folk still pressurising me in ways you'd never believe - I actually said to myself this one day which was particularly bad for me -

You know, you are being really stupid here, even if you do quite often think it would be a lot easier to be dead.

You feel useless. That's why you can't cope with it. lack of control of any of the situations.

But - What IS the ONE thing you might be able to control? - Your diabetes.


And I did.

But by far the hardest part is convincing yourself you're gonna do it. Once you've done that I won't say it's easy, but it's a helluva lot easier.

It will be summat seemingly inconsequential to anyone else that connects with her - if my experience is anything to go by so it's no good my saying do this or try that. Just be sure she knows you're there for her if nobody else is. And of course, don't hassle her or try to persuade her every time you speak.

In another situation - it was my sister passing a comment with no rancour - almost without any expression - as she dismissed the situation which we hadn't even been discusssing at that time although we had previously 'Oh well - strikes me Jen, you're not trying' as she walked past me with the empty dinner plates whilst clearing the table - to make me think 'She's right actually'.

Husband sat next to me, wasn't even aware she'd said it when I told him later. See what I mean?

 

[Caroline]

Your poor friend must be feeling terrible. It is great she has you for support.

Apart from showing her this forum I am not quite sure what to suggets for her. I hope she and her family are on the road to recovery.

 

[cherrypie]

I have a friend who has had type 2 diabetes for 6 years. She now takes 1000mg metformin, sitagliptin and both long lasting and fast acting insulin until 2 months ago she was contolling her diabetes very well then her husband had a heart attack, her mom was rushed into hospital for an operation on her stomach then her step dad was diagnosed with stomach cancer. Since then she hasn't been taking her medication correctly then I found out last night she hasn't taken any at all for 2 weeks and her blood levels have not been below 18 and as high as 25.6. I've told her this is dangerous but she said she doesnt care what can i do

I cannot imagine what your friend is going through, she must be in the depths of despair.

You ask what you can do. I think the best way forward is to listen to her, support her and accept that she is the one who will have to sort this out. You cannot make her take her meds but you can gently persuade her that she is needed by her family and her refusal to look after herself will bring more pressure on them if she gets ill as well. She is obviously not thinking straight about the consequences at the moment. If you can pose the question what would she advise someone in a similar situation to do, you may just be able to make her see the futility of what she is doing.

((((hugs)))) to both of you and I hope things sort themselves out. She is lucky to have a friend like you.

 

[DeusXM]

I think, personally, that sort of advice is akin to telling a depressed person to 'snap out of it', to be honest.

And I accept that sort of advice doesn't work for everyone. But it does work for some. One of the primary reasons for why I take good care of my diabetes is encountering a woman in her 30s, in a wheelchair, missing a foot, and unable to breath without an oxygen mask, in my diabetes clinic. My DSN pointed out to me that was what could happen to me if I didn't take my diabetes control seriously. I've done so ever since.

I imagine most people will (rightly) advocate the more softly, softly approach. However, in the interests of balance, perhaps it's good for people to suggest other approaches. The OP is the one who knows this person best; I'm sure they'll consider everyone's advice and then develop their own way of helping this person.