21 year old son with type 1 and suspected ADHD refusing to seek help

[oxleyjules]

Hello - I have a 21 year old son who is still living at home who was diagnosed with Type 1 when he was 16. It has always been difficult since his diagnosis for him to come to terms with it which I completely understand as I am a T1D too. On top of all this I am 100% convinced that he is also undiagnosed ADHD, which makes it even more difficult to manage his condition. His dopamine hits are coming from eating a lot and I mean a LOT of sugary things and out all the time drinking and taking drugs. He injects his insulin when he remembers and has been in hospital twice with DKA. I am, as you can imagine, worried sick and it is making me ill with all the stress. Anyone in the same or similar sort of position that can give me some advice. Life is a living hell at the moment! Sorry to sound so dramatic.

 

[everydayupsanddowns]

So sorry to hear what a tough time you have been having as a family @oxleyjules

There are a few previous threads where people with ADHD a d diabetes have shared their experiences

https://forum.diabetes.org.uk/boards/search/186409/?q=adhd&o=date

Including this thread by a parent of a youngster newly diagnosed with T1 who also lives with ADHD

https://forum.diabetes.org.uk/boards/threads/new-diagnosed-12yr-old-daughter-type-1-diabetes.105053/#post-1242214

Young people can have a difficult time adjusting to a diagnosis with T1 and emotional upheaval is not at all uncommon. Some liken it to a form of grieving, with phases and stages of anger, denial, bargaining, depression and ultimately a form of acceptance. But these phases can cycle back round, and some young people who initially cope well can ‘wobble’ after a few years.

Hope he can find a way to begin to engage more positively with his diabetes.

You might like to call the DUK Helpline a call (Mon-Fri 9-6) to chat things through. The number is at the top of each forum page.

 

[Inka]

You mentioned he might be depressed in your previous thread @oxleyjules

https://forum.diabetes.org.uk/boards/threads/worried-sick-about-20-year-old-son-in-denial.101100/

Perhaps he could also be rebelling against the diabetes? I know that sounds daft when he’s been diagnosed a number of years, but different life stages emphasise the difference and sometimes can trigger those early feelings of anger and resentment again. Have you tried talking to his friends and seeing if they’d help remind/persuade him to take his insulin?

If you think he has ADHD, then could you get him assessed? If he does and is finding focus hard, there are some meds that could be considered.

I’m sorry it’s stressing you so much. It must be such a worry for you. Does your son understand how much it’s upsetting you or do you hide it? Is there a trusted relative who could talk to your son, eg an uncle or a cousin? Sometimes young adults find it easier to talk to relatives that aren’t so close to them.

 

[Jani]

Hi @oxleyjules ..You don't sound dramatic at all.I have a 22 year old son, diagnosed at 18 years old. It's so hard when as young adults all they want to be is out and about doing what their friends are doing and not have to think about anything to do with Type1.It's a massive ask even if there isn't ADHD involved.My son tends to manage himself well, but definitely gets angry, depressed and needs a lot of emotional support at different times. It seems to go in cycles for him and is mostly connected to the anxiety and fear he feels having type1. It's so crazily stressful as a parent. I decided recently that I would get some psychological support for myself, perhaps speak to your GP about getting some support just for you.Sending you lots of love X

 

[Thebearcametoo]

Lots of love. It’s so difficult when there’s limited support for adults with type 1. Do you know his friends at all? His peers are probably best placed to help him at this life stage. If he has a mate you can talk to about it then giving them some practical tips as to what to look for and how to help encourage him to take the drug he needs to survive as well as the recreational stuff.

Does he have a CGM and a pump? If he can be on a looping system then that may help a little - although obviously he still needs to input his carbs. Given he’s been hospitalised he should qualify for tech.

As heartbreaking as it is all you can do it try to be there for him in as non judgmental way as possible.