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Have I done this to myself?

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This thread is now closed. Please contact Anna DUK, Ieva DUK or everydayupsanddowns if you would like it re-opened.
Two_Hares

Two_Hares

Member
Relationship to Diabetes
Type 2
Hi everyone. First of all I hope everyone is staying safe and well just now.

I'm sitting here debating about writing this but I have to ask. I've recently been diagnosed as Type 2. I found out just before lockdown so had my very first meeting with the diabetic nurse and have pretty much been on my own since, trying to figure it out. I've had some great help on these forums, and thanks to everyone who has helped and responded to those posts.

I'm so worried I'm going to offend someone with my post now and it's not my intention and all, but I'm just feeling really upset, frustrated and sad about this (with both myself and 'the world' haha).

I know T1 is an autoimmune condition, and that T2 * CAN * be preventable...and this is where my question is. I feel like pretty much everyone I know who I've told about my diagnosis, and everything I'm reading in the media about it is making the assumption that you get T2 because you're fat and lazy. Hey, if you just eat well and move more it wouldn't have happened! And while yes I totally get that this is true and I should lose weight/be more active etc (and I am doing now), is it the ONLY reason you can be T2? On BBC News today it says " Type 2 can often be prevented by losing weight, eating healthily and being active" but how do you know if it's been prevented? All of my friends group are overweight and largely inactive - and more so than I am - why don't they have it if that's the case?

Like I say, I'm fully aware that I am overweight and needed to do something about my lifestyle and my diagnosis has prompted me to do so. I also accept that it's highly likely the cause of my diabetes is lifestyle related but I'm just finding it so frustrating that people seem to be happy to be vocal about this (especially when they have no experience of it). My mum had throat cancer a few years back after being a long term smoker and no one turned round and said to her "well, love, if you hadn't had all those fags you'd be fine now!" I'm not sure if I'm just being overly sensitive because I'm new to this and still fumbling my way around it.

Has anyone else had these feelings and how did you get past them? I know that I know just need to do the best for my health and try to get myself into remission but I do feel like we're being a bit unfairly represented. Am I being daft? (I am quite happy for people to tell me if I am!).

Like I say, I am really not trying to upset/offend anyone I just don't know who else to speak to.
 
Hey @Two_Hares I was diagnosed just before the lockdown too so I get where you're coming from and do agree this forum is fantastic for newley diagnosed!

Whilst I can't speak out about type two being preventable, I'll be honest I weigh 17 stone I am pretty active playing rugby until recently and I was diagnosed with type 1. So I guess what I'm trying to say is people assume the type i have is related to poor eating and exercise choices when as you have pointed out it is an autoimmune disease.

The best piece of advise I could give you is to just ignore them and to treat it as well as you can. It's your life, people might make the sly comments behind your back or to your face which I'm sorry to hear and empathise with how that must make you feel. But at the end of the day you're addressing them and can potentially reverse the diabetes, an option I truly wish I had. If anyone says anything to you treat it like banter and throw something back at them if it gets past the point where it hurt you just tell them to jog on; you are looking after your health now and that is all that matters give yourself 6 months and you'll truly notice a difference in your looks and attitude and hopefully your diabetes management and thenthe same people with the sly comments will be praising you telling you how well you've done. So what im trying to say it it doesn't mean a single thing what people say, its your life its your health screw the rest of them.
 
Hello 🙂
The media does love to be very vocal and sensational with less than a few lines of fact/truth at the best of times.
Type2 as I understand it can run in families, some medication can actually cause it as well. Yes type2 can also be caused by being overweight.

There's no point in beating yourself up over the diagnoses though it's easy to do so as any diagnoses is a shock to the system.

Now you have the condition and are obviously proactive in helping yourself as you have come to the forum 🙂 you can hopefully sort yourself out and live a long healthy life.
 
Two_Hares said:
All of my friends group are overweight and largely inactive - and more so than I am - why don't they have it if that's the case?
Click to expand...

I think this is a point that is so often overlooked. And it really shouldnt be!

There is so much of a blame game about diabetes, and so much negative coverage that it is completely understandable that you have had the negative responses you have - but that doesnt make them right!

Diabetes UK have a new focus in their work aiming to reduce stigma around diabetes - and I for one am really looking forward to seeing the results of that.

Somewhere between 40-70% of a person’s likelihood of developing T2 is genetically derived. Everything from the sorts of foods you are drawn to... your abilty to feel full... and what your body actually does with the nutrients consumed (both in terms of blood glucose outcomes and likelihood of fat storage).

Some people have high levels of insulin resistance and dont develop T2. Some people (quite a large proportion actually) are normal weight or underweight when they develop T2. Some at with lots of risk factors don’t get it, and some with very few risk factors do.

It is far FAR more complicated than the relentless media narrative.

But the best thing you can do now is to respond to the challenge of it, and live your life well alongside it. Managing your BG to as near non-diabetic levels as you can happily manage.

And folks here can help you get there - while still retaining a semblance of a ‘normal’ life (whatever that is!)
 
Don’t blame yourself @Two_Hares. The media already has that covered! As PumperSue says, it’s what you do now that’s important...learn to take care of yourself as a T2 diabetic. Ask lotsa questions - there are plenty of knowledgeable people here to help. Welcome to the forum. 🙂
 
I’m sorry your feeling like this. The media love to to write things that make people judge and that then makes you feel worse than you already do! My diabetes nurse told me that it can run in the family, if you have one parent who is type2 you have a 30% chance and if both are your 50% likely. Although I wasn’t diagnosed with gestational diabetes when pregnant ( a change in midwives meant a mix up with blood tests) I did end up having a 10lb 3 ounce baby so there was mention that maybe it was missed and I’ve read that can also contribute to diabetes a little later on. From what I can tell there is so many different reasons and one thing I’ve learnt in the last year is it’s not worth trying to work out why, it is what it is you now have the knowledge to do everything to can to help yourself. There’s so many people out there who don’t know they have it so are unintentionally slowly making themselves poorly and that’s really sad.
People here are great and there’s always someone about to help when you have a query!

best of luck!
 
So many people are diagnosed type two, go low carb, about 50 gm a day and in a few months are getting back to normal. Genetically, they can't cope with the large amount of carbohydrate in the modern diet, but it isn't their fault.
 
Drummer said:
go low carb, about 50 gm a day and in a few months are getting back to normal.
Click to expand...

Or 100g a day... or 150g a day... or 25g a day... or whatever suits them as individuals 🙂
 
People often like to make comments about weight. The media doesn’t help with its lazy representation of people with diabetes as greedy and slothful. That’s not true, but I can completely understand why it gets to you. It’s rude and presumptive of people to make comments like that. It frequently comes from ignorance or simply not thinking rather than a personal attack on you.

I find it’s best to have a sentence or two ready to say if anyone makes incorrect or rude comments. Keep it polite, factual and calm. Maybe something about the genetic causes of a Type 2 or insulin resistance affecting the metabolism or whatever. If you can memorise something factual, say it calmly and pleasantly, that often stops people in their tracks if they’ve been rude or used stereotypes to label you.

Don’t let them get to you. Don’t blame yourself either. See this as an opportunity rather than a punishment.
 
"It's a bit weird you should say that now I've been diagnosed T2 - where on earth were you when I was (apparently) eating all the wrong things, warning me if I didn't stop, I'd become diabetic?"

You may gather I have no patience with wise after the event people!
 
Thanks everyone, you've made me feel loads better. I definitely do think mine is down to lifestyle (although I was brought up in a single parent household and have one side of my family I've never had any contact with so I guess could be genetic) and I'm using it as the kick up the backside I needed to do something about it. And even if it is brought on by lifestyle, there's many reasons to why someone could be living a particular lifestyle, it was just this blanket statement and on the news channel as well, aargh!

The help and support that comes from this site and this forum has been invaluable since I've been diagnosed so thanks to everyone for helping me out of this fit of rage I was in!
 
Good advice and support from the others, @Two_Hares , so I'll just add my support too! Be firm but polite if you can when faced with inane and inaccurate comments. If you can't, then I commend the excellent response from @James B , it's your health, screw the rest of them :D
 
Even as a Type 1, people still say to me "is that the one you get from eating too much sugar?" or "but you don't look fat?" or many other things that imply T1 is the "good" type and T2 is the "bad" type that people brought upon themselves. I always point out to them that:

- Diabetes is unfair and irrational with who it selects
- NOBODY, regardless of diet, weight, or any other factors, "deserves" diabetes
- There is no "good" or "bad" type, there is just diabetes

Unfortunately, a lot of people are still ignorant about these facts, and the media certainly doesn't help things.If you think lifestyle factors may have played a part in your diagnosis, then for sure let that motivate you, but don't let anyone shame you or make you feel like this was your fault.
 
Hi @Two_Hares. Love your post because I had very similar feelings. For me though the most frequent comment I got was 'Oh you don't look like you have diabetes'. What the hell is that supposed to mean? It's down to the myths about diabetes and everyone who is T2 is overweight, lazy and eats badly whereas that is not the truth at all and like with any condition, until we have it and learn more about it, we don't truly understand it. I am one of the slim diabetes, and believe me there are many of us, so I thought there's no way I could have it, but hey ho - I have - so I just get on with it, though don't pretend it's particularly easy at times.
Just do your very best, I'm sure you are getting lots of advice from this forum and possibly elsewhere and soon you will have learnt a lot and your bg figures will show an improvement which spurs you on. Make sure you share those successes with us as we all know how good that feels. Try and be gracious with those that come out with silly comments because you know better than they do.
Take care. Sue x
 
Thanks again everyone, you're all such a help. I think I have to remember that before I was diagnosed I had no idea what diabetes was...I thought that it was * something * to do with sugar, but no idea what, and was aware of the word insulin again without knowing what it was. I didn't know anyone with diabetes so it never seemed relevant I suppose. I bet loads of people are the same. Plus I'm still learning and this has been me for the last three months and I'm sure I'll learn more as I go along. Hopefully the next time someone says something daft/wrong/unhelpful/well meaning but not I can give them a wee bit more information about the condition.

@trophywench That print out is brilliant, definitely keeping that for future use! Thank you!
 
I too was diagnosed before lockdown... when I saw my nurse, I walked in and she asked 'do you know why you have diabetes?' I replied 'is it my fat arse?'... made her laugh, then she got cross and said NO,NO,NO.... its hereditary. ( I later found out one of my cousins has it, but he doesn't look after himself). I am overweight, although I have lost 20lb since March, slow and steady for me.
 
Lol Pina. :D

I think I gave myself T2 and did my liver in due to lifestyle and pigging out but my brother-in-law who eats properly and isn't overweight and lives a normal life and isn't greedy or a drinker or overeater or non-exerciser has T2 as well just like his Dad so it's swings and roundabouts if you ask me. Don't beat yourself up about it.
 
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