Life with Nathan .. teenager .. type 1 diabetic

[sasha1]

Hi All...

I have been toying with this idea for a few weeks .. and spoke to Northerner about it first ... to ask for his opinion and thoughts ..

Over the past few weeks we have had many more parents join the forum with children newly diagnosed or have been for some time. It saddened me to hear how isolated they feel and totally lost with the diagnosis. I can relate 110% to how they feel as all the parents on here.

So it struck me .. why don't I start a thread .. Life with Nathan .. Teenager .. Type 1 Diabetic.

What I want to do ... is to use this as a diary kind of thing charting the ups and downs, highs, lows and every possible aspect of having a teenager with diabetes.. I will be as honest, truthful and open .. but mainly positive .. If I have a nightmare of a day with Nathan with either teenage angst or diabetes angst I will post it ... on the other side if its been a brilliant day I will post again .. Fair enough I have only had 2 and a half years experience .. but have gained an awful lot of understanding and knowledge.

The idea of this is to show newly diagnosed parents that while yes life will change .. its not the end of it and you will get through it and like me probably wonder how at some stage.

I would also like for other parents to post there experiences of life with their children ... We have fantastic parents on here .. with a wealth of knowledge and understanding of children being diagnosed at all ages and for varying length of times.

Look forward to reading you posts etc....

Heidi
xx🙂

 

[Carynb]

What a great idea! Just what I need that's for sure.

C xx

 

[Steff]

Heidi what a totally amazing idea hun just what all the parents etc need , can it be made a sticky thread then ? x

 

[sasha1]

Heidi what a totally amazing idea hun just what all the parents etc need , can it be made a sticky thread then ? x

Hi Hun ....

I'm sure Northerner said he would make it a sticky thread ....

OOOOOO ... I also meant to say .... It would also be great to hear from our teenagers on the forum or if diagnosed as a child to give us parents there side of things and input ... this I know would be valuable knowledge to me and I'm sure other parents.


Heidi
xx🙂

 

[Mand]

As my son is a pre-teen i would love to read your new thread as i am sure i could learn much from it. Teenagers are difficult anyway (i have a non-diabetic 16 year old daughter) but a teenager with diabetes could bring extra difficulties.

Nice idea! Look forward to the thread if you decide to go ahead.

Mand xx 🙂

 

[sasha1]

As my son is a pre-teen i would love to read your new thread as i am sure i could learn much from it. Teenagers are difficult anyway (i have a non-diabetic 16 year old daughter) but a teenager with diabetes could bring extra difficulties.

Nice idea! Look forward to the thread if you decide to go ahead.

Mand xx 🙂

Hi Mand ...

Consider it done ... I think thread would be ideal and just what parents need..

Nathan was diagnosed at 11 ... 2 months before he was 12 ... so he had already shown certain hormonal changes😱

Heidi
xx🙂

 

[Patricia]

Hi Heidi

Great idea, absolutely. Something like this is really needed, and I think it's good esp for people just coming on to see life going on...

It *is* terribly complicated, diabetes and hormones and teenage life. My son is 13, and we have lots of things going on which makes dealing with diabetes much rougher -- hopefully only for a while -- but also somehow more focused? He just seems to be more mature, know more about what's at stake, etc...

We wait for him to rebel against diabetes. Maybe he won't. I don't know. Does Nathan struggle in this way?

 

[Twitchy]

Great idea!! I am sure it will be a real asset to all the other parents out there! Nice one!

 

[sasha1]

Hi Heidi

Great idea, absolutely. Something like this is really needed, and I think it's good esp for people just coming on to see life going on...

It *is* terribly complicated, diabetes and hormones and teenage life. My son is 13, and we have lots of things going on which makes dealing with diabetes much rougher -- hopefully only for a while -- but also somehow more focused? He just seems to be more mature, know more about what's at stake, etc...

We wait for him to rebel against diabetes. Maybe he won't. I don't know. Does Nathan struggle in this way?

Hi Patricia ...

Nathan ... can be an absolute star as regards to his diabetes .. he will do everything by the book .. seems to accept his diagnosis .. wants to learn more about diabetes and the impact it will have on his later life ... and when I have overheard him talking to friends about it ... He knows a damn site more than he lets on ... and that is fantastic and makes me truly proud ..
But on the flip side ... He will go out of his way to avoid injections .. blood testing .. eats just about anything he can get his hands on ... flips says he doesnt want it and unfortunately will go right out of his way to make himself ill .. Nathan at times lives for the confrontation .. although he does'nt get it form me anymore .. If he chooses to learn the hard way so be it ... Its a kind of reverse psychology technique .. and also a big part to me in a teenage taking control of there diabetes .. He knows for example I cannot force him to take his insulin .. which he fmakes me only to aware of .. so my reply is simple and straight to the point .. I cant.. but its not me thats going to feel like c**p (sorry) .. in a few hours after eating .. but when you do son .. I'll be there to help and bring you your insulin .. and if you feel really ill son I will phone the hospital and make sure a bed is available for you ... Yes I do sound hard and believe me I said a lot harder things to him ... but the reality of diabetes and complications is hard and I cant be dressed up that it will be ok if you miss injections or eat the wrong things etc..

My own view is teenagers will always rebel over issues regarding staying up late .. going out .. Xbox play time .. home work .. school .. how I've ruined his life .. lol ... so to a degree diabetes is no different most will push the boundries .. not that I want Nathan to do that .. but I think thats where the shaping of the adult comes from ..

Heidi
xx🙂

 

[Mand]

Heidi, one of your fantastic qualitites is that you see things from Nathans point of view as well as a parents point of view. This is an important quality in a parent for maintaining a good relationship through the teenage years.

I believe that you are going to survive these difficult years and if you can document that then i believe we will all learn from you.

I so look forward to your future posts. xx 🙂 xx

 

[bev]

Hi Heidi,
Cant add much to what everyone else has already! But just to say i think this thread will be a hit - i know i will need it when A reaches the hormone stage!

I will be reading it with interest and will add when i have any advice! Great idea - well done! What does Nathan think of it?Bev

 

[PhoebeC]

I think it is a great idea, the more we share our storys the more we can help each other.
Has anyone read ''No Added Sugar: Growing Up with Type 1 Diabetes (Paperback)
by Fibi Ward (Author) ''?
I think i might buy it, even though im 20 now, its still interests me how teenagers cope .
xx

 

[kimberly1.5]

I'm not a teenager, but still had an interesting shock when diagnosed just a couple months ago and it was / is hard for my parents - especially as I'm living in a different country to them! They feel helpless and confused as to why this happened to me (type 1.5 - diagnosed just before my 29th birthday)

My main tip to parents is to research it as much as possible - I went home (to america) a couple weeks ago and it was hard because my parents didn't really understand (My dad had read just enough to know all the negatives!) and was acting disappointed when I would take an injection (thinking I should just eat better and avoid the injections) but that doesn't help...!!

 

[sasha1]

Hi Heidi,
Cant add much to what everyone else has already! But just to say i think this thread will be a hit - i know i will need it when A reaches the hormone stage!

I will be reading it with interest and will add when i have any advice! Great idea - well done! What does Nathan think of it?Bev

Hi Bev ...

I run the idea by Nathan before I definately decided to go ahead with it ... He said " Go for it ... and he would be happy to give us his opinion and feelings on certain issues" ...

Hope you and A ok ..

Heidi
xx🙂

 

[sasha1]

Hi All ...

Thank you for all the positive responses about this thread ...

My first posting I was going to go into how I felt for the first few months of Nathan's diagnosis ... To reassure all parents of the newly diagnosed, that how they feel know is totally natural and that they are not alone ... 🙂

However ... During today Nathan has gone totally off on one, which is a mixture of teenage angst and diabetes getting in the way and ruining every thing for him ....

Nathan like many others goes back to school on Wednesday into year 10 ... year 4 in old money ... lol ... With this promotion to the higher ranks of the school comes along with certain privileges ... the main one ... Being allowed off school site and into town for lunch ... We had already discussed this previous to today ... to which I told Nathan I was'nt in agreement to ... many reasons where given ... diabetes was one of them yes .. because it has to be taken into consideration and how the logistics would work ..

The reasons were ... You recieve free school lunches .. safety implications .. I'm not prepared to give you dinner money to spend on c**p ... eg the town center has 4 chip shops ... greggs and 4 other sandwich/pie shops.. tesco and the co-op ... I do not agree with any child going into town for lunch ... besides most people view the town center as a no go area between 12 and 1 pm ... final reason how was the diabetes side of things going to be done ... its a good 10 min walk from the school to town ..

So I asked Nathan where was he going to wash his hands and do his insulin ... He replied "At school" ... so I asked " right son .. say you are 5 and you take your usual dose of N/R walk into town, wait to be served ... where do you think your level will be?" .... "ERRRR ... Dunno" ... "How about on the floor son" ...
Nathan the chirpped up "Well I'll do it when I'm in town after getting my food and walking about" ... "Where will that be then son?" .... "I'll just do it in the street or or somewhere" ... I replied "No you are not son"...
I then went on to offer 3 other solutions ... come home for dinner ... bring a friend with you ... Have your lunch at home then walk into town and back up to school .... Stay at school ... But I stressed they were the only options available ... Nathan in his wisenesss of 14 years came back with the line "You cant stop me .. I will just go anyway and then you wont know" ... With that I looked and said " I would strongly advise you not to do that .. because A, I will find out .. B, I can always be up town when its dinner time, C, I will inform school that you do not have permission to leave school for lunch .. under any circumstances .. D, I need to be able to trust you and give you the respect as a teenager you need .. but doing something like this will only reinforce the lead is to long."

So right now Nathan is upstairs having stormed out of the room like a teenager possesed shouting I've ruined his life and its all because I have diabetes .. and some random rantings...

Heidi
xx🙂

 

[Northerner]

Heidi, when I was Nathan's age we got into BIG trouble if we left the school grounds at lunchtime - there were prefects and teachers who would keep a lookout in all the likely spots. Maybe at 16 you could get away with going off to the local caf?, but not at 14, it surprises me that it's allowed. Don't the teachers have responsibility for children under 16?

 

[sasha1]

Heidi, when I was Nathan's age we got into BIG trouble if we left the school grounds at lunchtime - there were prefects and teachers who would keep a lookout in all the likely spots. Maybe at 16 you could get away with going off to the local caf?, but not at 14, it surprises me that it's allowed. Don't the teachers have responsibility for children under 16?

Unfortunately I went too the same school as Nathan and we were allowed the same privilege and that would have been 1984 ... .... The school is too big to cater for all the children to have school dinners ... nor have they the resources and staff to man all the possible exits from the school ... I quiet agree with you it should not be allowed .. other than of the child is going home for lunch ...

As for the teachers responsibility for the secondary school child .... its debateable ... to down right negligent .... I looked into this at some length when Nathan was being horrendously bullied .... I though school had a responsibility for the child till 4pm .. apparently not ... 😡

Heidi
xx🙂

 

[Mand]

Oh Heidi, i sympathise with you. I do not think the school is being very supportive to parents in allowing the kids out so young. It is obvious that it is going to lead to problems with eating and money to fund it, even without the extra 'd' issue.

Perhaps when Nathan has time to cool down and thnk things through he will talk to you more about it. Well, it might happen!

Let us know how things develop. 🙂

 

[sasha1]

Oh Heidi, i sympathise with you. I do not think the school is being very supportive to parents in allowing the kids out so young. It is obvious that it is going to lead to problems with eating and money to fund it, even without the extra 'd' issue.

Perhaps when Nathan has time to cool down and thnk things through he will talk to you more about it. Well, it might happen!

Let us know how things develop.

Hi Mand ...

I hope so ... its just tonight made him resent the fact he is diabetic ... although thats only one of the reasons I used as to why I dont want him to go into town for lunch ...

I must say the diabetes is a perfect weapon for a child/teenager to manipulate a situation .. or use it to their own advantage .. and Nathan has on many occasions used it in such a way ... Once or twice I must admit quiet cleverly ... eg ... Nathan had a detention after school one night .. fair enough ... but Nathan felt the detention was unjust .. so in his wit .. decided to be ill ... I had gone out that day and was out of reach by mobile phone reception .. only for a short time ... when it came back up I had several frantic voice mails form school informing me that Nathan nana had picked him up with a BG reading of 29 .8 ... omg ...😱 ... when I came home Nathan looked fit as a fiddle .. So I asked him to take his BG again ... 7.3 .... mmmmmmm .... ..... I challenged Nathan about it .. he started to cry .. and said he was sorry but .. in order to get out of the denention he has chewed a glucose tablets then licked his finger .. hence the reading ... I must say I was really cross, because this was dangerous as if school had phoned an ambulance they would have given him insulin immediately ... I made and took Nathan back to school ... explained to the year head what he had done .. all to get out of a detention .. and ordered that he do a weeks worth of after school detention as a deterrent to do something like that again ... thankfully it worked ...

I will keep you posted on the dinner situation ..

Heidi
xx🙂

 

[Mand]

How are things this morning?

Heidi, how you handled what Nathan did re detention is admirable! I take my hat off to you. (I could not help but have a secret little smile, in an affectionate way, for what Nathan did! I was thinking 'little devil'!)

BUT obviously this is not acceptable and, as you quite rightly said, could have had a terrible outcome if he had been given loads of insulin to bring him down! As he not pulled a trick like this again, i am presuming he has learnt his lesson! The problem with 'crying wolf' is that you might not be taken seriously another time when you really do need help!

Thank you so much for sharing this because, as my son goes through the teenage years, i can keep your story at the back of my mind and be one step ahead, should i need to be!!

I send you strength to get through the weekend! Oh the joys of teenagers! Bless them!! xx 🙂