Hi
@Rileylewis. From one Dad to another, you are not a failure by any stretch of the imagination! Diabetes can be a very difficult condition to manage as there are so many factors outside your control, it’s as if diabetes has a mind of its own. Your son will be growing, so this will heavily influence BG levels and control. You mentioned that his ratios are constantly changing. That tells me you are paying close attention to the management of his condition. Anyone who does that is not a failure.
The Libre will help a lot as not only will your son not need to finger prick as much, making him happier to test more frequently, you will be able to see patterns and you will be able to share the information with the hospital team. They will then be in a better position to advise you.
The unknown factor when dealing with hypos is how the body reacts of its own accord. You have to treat the hypo, but if his body realises what’s going on, it will release reserves of glucose to deal with it. This, together with the carbs you give him, can often lead to a high reading. Often, this is short lived and the reading will go down on its own. We tend not to correct if the BG goes up to around the 10 mark. In fact, a high reading after a hypo isn’t necessarily a bad thing as it allows the liver to replenish its store of spare glucose.
I have two teenagers with type 1 and while we still have surprises now and again, it has become a bit more predictable. Even at the age your son is now, you will eventually learn how he reacts in certain situations, so you will be more able to make the right decisions. One thing I would add to that is trust your instinct. Your hospital team is clearly very supportive, which is fantastic, but you are with your son all day, every day, so you may know how to deal with an issue better than them.
I know it’s easy to say and not easy to do, but you need to focus more on the many positives you do and stop feeling guilty. As parents, we never do anything that will adversely affect our children’s care. Learn from each experience, but treat it as exactly that, a learning opportunity. No-one gets it right all the time, and sometimes, diabetes does its own thing anyway. I call it ‘expert guesswork’. Your knowledge and experience tell you what to do when faced with a particular set of circumstances, so you do it. All you can do then is sit back and hope what should happen does happen. It doesn’t always work like that (last night, both of mine were in an almost permanent state of hypo, despite much glucose), but you need to accept that you have done the right thing, but diabetes didn’t play ball.
I’ve always treated my two waking up hypo as a bit of a trade-off; a 3.4 in return for a reasonable night’s sleep isn’t too bad. Highs can be dealt with and, as long as they aren’t too frequent, are unlikely to have long term consequences. It’s really important to look after yourself; if you can’t care for your children, who will? Care for the carer!
You are doing a much better job of caring for your son than you realise.
