I first came to this forum shortly after I had a stroke in August 2022 - my Hba1C at the time was about 124.
I had spent many years not really looking after myself and the stroke was (although probably shouldn't have been) a bit of a shock.
My life has turned around considerably - and the first step to that was addressing my mental health - the stroke meant I got access to a mental health pychologist which led to opening a whole can of worms about how severe depression had led to me not caring about myself. I had spent years quite content with the thought that going to bed and not waking up would be quite an attractive proposition and my not looking after myself was a way to achieve this. I never conciously or actively mad any attempt to harm myself, but neither did I take steps to actively avoid myself coming to harm.
This may sound strange as I have a 13 year old daughter but in my state of mind that wasn't incentive enough to look after myself.
I even wrote her a letter that I sealed in the safe in case something happened to me to try to explain how I felt.
I was diagnosed as having High Functioning Severe Depression - outwardly no-one knew , I held down a very high profile and responsible job, people depended on my decisions and work ethic, but I would go home at night and wish to not wake up in the morning.
Getting therapy to talk about my life / childhood / feelings was the best thing that could have happened. It was like being able to let the things that weighed me down go - I kind of think about it as being Jacob Marley hauling around the chains and weights of his sins in life - not that I sinned but I hadn't deal with those influences that caused me to suffer or feel pain.
I'm writing this in the hope someone will read it and recognise that they also need help - and seek it. The first step is so hard but I promise you its worth it - I waited 29 years for the shock that motivated change but I wish it could have happened sooner.
I now have a Hba1C of 47, have lost 4 stone and am insulin free with a single dose of Trezapatide weekly
Thank-you
I had spent many years not really looking after myself and the stroke was (although probably shouldn't have been) a bit of a shock.
My life has turned around considerably - and the first step to that was addressing my mental health - the stroke meant I got access to a mental health pychologist which led to opening a whole can of worms about how severe depression had led to me not caring about myself. I had spent years quite content with the thought that going to bed and not waking up would be quite an attractive proposition and my not looking after myself was a way to achieve this. I never conciously or actively mad any attempt to harm myself, but neither did I take steps to actively avoid myself coming to harm.
This may sound strange as I have a 13 year old daughter but in my state of mind that wasn't incentive enough to look after myself.
I even wrote her a letter that I sealed in the safe in case something happened to me to try to explain how I felt.
I was diagnosed as having High Functioning Severe Depression - outwardly no-one knew , I held down a very high profile and responsible job, people depended on my decisions and work ethic, but I would go home at night and wish to not wake up in the morning.
Getting therapy to talk about my life / childhood / feelings was the best thing that could have happened. It was like being able to let the things that weighed me down go - I kind of think about it as being Jacob Marley hauling around the chains and weights of his sins in life - not that I sinned but I hadn't deal with those influences that caused me to suffer or feel pain.
I'm writing this in the hope someone will read it and recognise that they also need help - and seek it. The first step is so hard but I promise you its worth it - I waited 29 years for the shock that motivated change but I wish it could have happened sooner.
I now have a Hba1C of 47, have lost 4 stone and am insulin free with a single dose of Trezapatide weekly
Thank-you