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I am pathetic

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C

Carrie McG

New Member
Relationship to Diabetes
Type 2
First diagnosed in November last year I did really well in my first few months - losing 1 and 1/2 stone and reducing my BG, but what's happened to me?

For weeks I have been, almost mutinously, stuffing my face full of chocolate; several bars at a time and I can't stop. Its like I have a death wish! I'm just so childish and pathetic. So many people on this forum have genuine problems, not self-inflicted childish nonsense like this, but its getting me down, I have been close to tears several times today. Its as if the more I tell myself I mustn't eat chocolate the more I get upset about it and shovel it down myself. I know its affecting me, my BG is back up and my eyes were going fuzzy at work today, but still I can't stop.

Sorry, I know this is all ridiculous. I just needed to tell someone
Carrie
 
Thanks for sharing Carrie, and no, I don't think anyone here will think you are being silly.

Oddly enough I was watching that BBC prog tonight on changing eating habits, and it seems that a lot of our struggles with food are at least partially hard-wired in. We are built to crave and eat 'energy dense' foods when they are available (in times of plenty) and store the energy to see us through times of want. Trouble is, these days it's 'times of plenty' ALL the time!

Plus the might of the food, retail and advertising industry seeking to boost profits and sell more stuff.

Saying no is not easy - but by recognising the challenge you've gone a long way towards beating it.

D gives us all a very difficult relationship with food. And we will all have to find our own strategies in the battle. How about some sort of treat/incentive (non-food related) for a week without.

Have you tried the weight loss group? They seem very supportive and it can help to have people in your corner.
 
Hi Carrie

I want to congratulate you on the amazing weight loss. 1 1/2 stone is a lot to lose especially after being given the news of type 2.

I don't have diabetes, 1 or 2, (my daughter has type 1 which is why I am here) but I just had to reply on this as I can feel your pain and desperation coming through.

I can't even tell you how to think or feel but I want to tell you to stop beating yourself up. You had a great start but your brain is now rebelling and why the hell not.

I don't know whether this is any comparison or not or any help but when a child is diagnosed with type 1, their parents often go through a period of what we can only liken to some sort of mourning. They have lost their once very healthy child who had not a care in the world and whilst they still have their lovely precious child they now have to be carers as well as parents.

Maybe you are going through this as well, as I say I don't know, I just wanted to give you a hug really and hold your hand and say its ok, you'll get there. 🙂🙂
 
Hi Carrie. Try not to get upset - it happened to me in exactly the same way. I too lost 1.5 stone to start with and have had times when I have gone out of my way to get to the shops to buy chocolate and then got angry with myself.

It comes and goes. Sometimes I can leave it alone and sometimes I crave it. Maybe its hormonal, I don't know. But it does pass so pat yourself on the back for your good days and don't beat yourself up on days when it gets to you. We are all in the same boat. xxx
 
Carrie McG said:
First diagnosed in November last year I did really well in my first few months - losing 1 and 1/2 stone and reducing my BG, but what's happened to me?

For weeks I have been, almost mutinously, stuffing my face full of chocolate; several bars at a time and I can't stop. Its like I have a death wish! I'm just so childish and pathetic. So many people on this forum have genuine problems, not self-inflicted childish nonsense like this, but its getting me down, I have been close to tears several times today. Its as if the more I tell myself I mustn't eat chocolate the more I get upset about it and shovel it down myself. I know its affecting me, my BG is back up and my eyes were going fuzzy at work today, but still I can't stop.

Sorry, I know this is all ridiculous. I just needed to tell someone
Carrie
Click to expand...

I think anyone who has lost weight like you have is super and you should pat yourself on the back! i no what you mean about wanting to eat lots i crave bread soooo much now and look at all the norty food adds and makes me even more hungry!!!....but like you i lost weight quickly and no it's good for my body and mind, have you a partner that can help you? or family? my misses won't buy norty food but i look forward to a sneaky drink on a friday night as a pat on the back to myself, we all have to have something to look forward to, chin up x 😉
 
You are most definitely NOT pathetic! You've already lost a great amount of weight, this is just a blip and d'you know what? Most of us fall off the wagon now & again, so you are not unusual! 😉 If you are struggling with feeling down, maybe a trip to the gp (if they're a good'un) would help? Depression can hit & with diabetes control things can get into a viscious cycle of feeling rubbish, less effective control, feeling more rubbish etc etc...there's no shame in asking for help with either moral support or a bit more intervention if that would help. Meanwhile, we're here & we know how tough it can be, so let off steam when you need to - just don't beat yourself up ok? 🙂 Take care. Xxx
 
Carrie McG said:
First diagnosed in November last year I did really well in my first few months - losing 1 and 1/2 stone and reducing my BG, but what's happened to me?

For weeks I have been, almost mutinously, stuffing my face full of chocolate; several bars at a time and I can't stop. Its like I have a death wish! I'm just so childish and pathetic. So many people on this forum have genuine problems, not self-inflicted childish nonsense like this, but its getting me down, I have been close to tears several times today. Its as if the more I tell myself I mustn't eat chocolate the more I get upset about it and shovel it down myself. I know its affecting me, my BG is back up and my eyes were going fuzzy at work today, but still I can't stop.

Sorry, I know this is all ridiculous. I just needed to tell someone
Carrie
Click to expand...

Hi Carrie,
a great big congratulations on that weight loss. That's a fantastic achievement.
Each and everyone of us goes through stages of denial so what you are doing is normal, even if it doesn't make you feel good about yourself just now.
Take one day at a time and things will come right.

Who told you that you must not eat chocolate? :confused: Nothing is out of bounds as long as the not to healthy foods are eaten in moderation.
So how about some fun size chocy bars and pop them in the freezer, they take a lot longer to eat this way.

Do you like nuts, if so buy yourself some and some dark chocolate melt the chocolate and dip the nuts in it. This way not so much chocolate but still the taste is there for. The GI would be pretty low as well.
Rice cakes are ok with a smear of chocolate on them to so I have been told.

If there are foods that you like more than others which are a bit carby perhaps have a think of how you can lower the carb content with simple adjustments. I'm sure if you put a request in the food forum others will be able to come up with ideas for you.

Best wishes
Sue
 
Hi Carrie. You are not pathetic at all. You are dealing with a really tough challene and your weight loss is brilliant. I wi sh I could manage to lose that amount - I certainly need to. Set yourself goals for each day. If you don't achieve them one day then there is always the next day to start again. We all understand your challenges and are here to support you x
 
Do you like nuts, if so buy yourself some and some dark chocolate melt the chocolate and dip the nuts in it. This way not so much chocolate but still the taste is there for. The GI would be pretty low as well.
Click to expand...

This is a great idea. I find with chocolate cravings, if you can give them a short, sharp hit, they go away. I keep a bar of 90% cocoa chocolate in the fridge - if you eat a couple of squares, you only get about 10g of carbs but the intensity means you lose all will to eat any more chocolate.
 
I think you are doing great. We all get down at times and I'm a chocoholic too, so I do as Deus and allow myself two squares a day. It works for me.:D
 
Thanks for the support folks, you're a boon. Going to give myself a good shake tomorrow morning and remind myself what this is all about. Thanks all xxx
 
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